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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371617">sun (a naruto fanfiction)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/icilea/pseuds/icilea'>icilea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sun trilogy [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, how do i do tags, naruto - Freeform, original character with their own story, uhhh quite a bit of angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:47:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/icilea/pseuds/icilea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>born into a noble clan and placed under a direct spotlight, akarui taiyou often feels underestimated. surrounded by naturally caring and intelligent individuals, a sense of weakness often washes over taiyou -- practically drowning her in the process. stuck in the shadow of her prodigious elder brother, taiyou must learn to stand up and identify who she truly is, escaping into the glistening light of self-worth.</p>
<p>story 1/3</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sun trilogy [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. to become a kunoichi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the sun's warmth painted my skin, waking me up from a peaceful night's sleep. i slowly sat up on my comfortable bed, stretching my arms outwards. a yawn fell out of my mouth as my hands clenched my thumbs. 'i should get up... but it's already so comfortable where i am now.'</p>
<p>     'forget it,' i thought to myself as i slid out of my blankets, folding them back into place once i was standing on the wooden floor. 'it's not like i'll be able to stay in bed for long. mom will end up waking me up if i don't get ready soon.'</p>
<p>     another yawn escaped my mouth as opened my door, stepping into the long hallway that branched off from my room. picture frames littered the walls that often mocked my entire being -- but after looking at them for so long, i've learned to blur the continuous images of shinzo's many accomplishments out of my sight. after following my way along the hallway that led to my kitchen and dining room, i take a place at one of the three open spots at the table. "good morning, taiyou. how did you sleep?" my mother cheerfully asked.</p>
<p>     "i slept alright." i answer as my elder brother walked into the room with a refreshed look.</p>
<p>     he walks to my mother's side and places a hand on her shoulder, signaling for her to sit down. she gives a slight nod to her head, then takes a seat in front of me. shinzo prepares plates for all three of us and lays them on the correct mats. "good morning, shinzo. thank you for helping me with everything, gives me a bit of a break from everything, y'know?" my mom giggled, causing her bright eyes to squeeze closed.</p>
<p>     i pick up my fork and poke at my food, suddenly feeling a deep pit form in my stomach. </p>
<p>     "it's no problem, mother -- anything i can do to make things easier around the house, i will do." shinzo states with a bow, right before he takes a spot in between our mother and i.</p>
<p>     the fork i hold in my hands spreads my eggs around the plate, suddenly looking less appetizing than i remembered. the two others with the same meal as i began to happily eat, making me feel even queasier than prior. "so, taiyou... you have that genin graduation test today, right?" shinzo asked me after swallowing the bite he last took. </p>
<p>     "yeah, that's today." i quavered, realizing why the black hole in my stomach seemed to be devouring my mind. </p>
<p>     "how do you feel -- excited? nervous?"</p>
<p>     "nervous, i guess. i mean, i could always fail."</p>
<p>     "i don't think you will, kid. trust me, that test was a breeze."</p>
<p>     a doubtful smirk began to form on my face, releasing itself in a nervous laugh. </p>
<p>     "you'll do well, taiyou. you take after your brother when you don't even know it -- so that's how i know you'll do well, just like him. don't stress, alright?" my mother assured me in her own way, with a calming smile painted on her face. "by the way... when is your next mission, shinzo?" </p>
<p>     my elder brother wiped his mouth with a napkin and slightly tilted his head to the right. "i'm not sure when i'll be leaving, but all i know is that i'll be leaving within the next few days or so. all depends on when lord hokage wants to send me out."</p>
<p>     my head turns down to the plate of scrambled eggs as i shove a few forkfuls into my mouth. as a way to signal thank you to my mother for preparing breakfast, i place my palms together and bow. turning my sight to the nearest clock, my heart picks up speed at the time. 'i have 30 minutes to get to my test?! no, no, no... i've got to get ready!' </p>
<p>     a small smile forms on my moms face as she notices my sudden rushed movements. "i can clear your plate taiyou... just focus on getting ready." </p>
<p>     "thank you!" i exclaim to the woman in front of me as i jump up from my spot and run to my room. </p>
<p>     the bristles of my brush rushed through my shoulder-length black hair, untangling it from last night's sleep. 'i really have to hurry... i can't be late -- especially not today!'</p>
<p>     placing my toothbrush into my mouth with toothpaste already on it, i changed from a pair of soft pajamas into my daily outfit in a tangled manner. a purple short sleeved shirt that fell to my mid-thigh from the left side and angled down towards my right knee, a pair of black pants, and my usual sandals. as i jumped on one foot to secure the straps on my feet, i almost fell down -- swallowing the toothpaste in my mouth. </p>
<p>     my eyes widened, causing my feet to glue themselves flat on the floor. 'maybe i should... do things one at a time. if i need to, i guess i can run to the academy.'</p>
<p>----------</p>
<p>     rapid footsteps echoed in the hallway as i ran to class. even though my heart was pounding at the fear of being late, i couldn't find the strength to slide the door open and step inside. holding out my hand, it seemed to freeze in time as i forgot how to breathe. 'the test. what'll it be on? what if it's something i'm not really good at, like fighting one-on-one or something? how could i go home to a failed status? having to redo everything all over again!'</p>
<p>     the door my widened eyes were so focused on suddenly opened to reveal shikamaru, my longtime friend. </p>
<p>     "tai?" he questioned in a monotonous voice as his head slightly turned to the right. </p>
<p>     i shook my head back and forth, awaking me from the trance i ended up falling into. "sorry about that, shika. i didn't know you were about to open the door."</p>
<p>     "why're you saying sorry to me? i was the one who almost caused you to fall forward by opening the door on you." he scratched his head with a sigh and stepped aside to let me in. "you can go first, i was just going to get some water."</p>
<p>     "oh, thanks." i stammered as i stepped inside, then turned around to give him a small smile. "good morning, by the way."</p>
<p>     shikamaru groaned, then shoved his hands into his pockets. "yeah, yeah.... go talk to choji about all that morning stuff."</p>
<p>     a small chuckle left my lips as i waved my hand back and forth. turning back around towards my classmates, i instantly found my assigned seat with choji sitting to the right of it. </p>
<p>     "good morning, choji." i said to the boy as i sat down beside him.</p>
<p>     choji gave me a bright smile as he waved. "good morning, taiyou! are you ready for the graduation exam?" </p>
<p>     "more or less..." i pinched my hair, rubbing it back and forth between my fingers. "i guess i'm just a bit nervous since we don't really know what we have to do."</p>
<p>     "makes sense. no matter what, we've got this! i know it!" he gave me two thumbs up in efforts to comfort me.</p>
<p>     "thank you, choji. i think i might've needed that." </p>
<p>     the boy beside me began to talk, but was interrupted by the sound of hands loudly clapping at the front of the room. "alright, everyone! we're going to begin the exams since it's just hit 9:00. we'll administer the tests in an alphabetical order from a-z with your last names. when you've been called, just go into the room at the back of the class, where me and mizuki-sensei will be. good luck, everyone. i believe in you all." iruka-sensei explained, causing my palms to get a bit moist.</p>
<p>     i took in a big breath of air in attempts to calm my nerves. 'why does my last name have to start with a?!' an internal wail echoed in my mind as invisible tears welled in my eyes.</p>
<p>     "akarui taiyou!" iruka-sensei called out once he reached the exam room.</p>
<p>     after jumping up from my chair, i clasped my hands together and glanced back at choji to receive another encouraging pair of thumbs up. the corners of my lips slightly turned upwards as i walked towards iruka-sensei. </p>
<p>     "hello, taiyou. the test is decently simple," my sensei began as he slid the door behind us closed. "all you need to do is create two solid and function-able clones."</p>
<p>     he sat down in the seat beside mizuki-sensei and looked down at a clipboard. after swallowing a dry patch in my throat, i took a deep breath and began to form the hand signs needed to properly cast the jutsu. 'ram, snake, tiger -- clone jutsu!' </p>
<p>     a clone appeared on my left and right side, causing a sense of relief to wash over my body. "i did it!" i exclaimed with a little dance. </p>
<p>     "congrats!" iruka-sensei cheered as he opened a box that was placed on the table beside him. "you can take a hitai-ate. don't forget to bring it back tomorrow at 8:00 am, when you'll be finding out the team you're assigned to."</p>
<p>     i nodded my head and took a few steps forward. "good job, taiyou. i knew you had it in you." mizuki-sensei stated as my i picked up the hitai-ate sitting in the top left corner. </p>
<p>     "thank you, senseis." i said with a smile and slight bow right before i rushed out of the room. </p>
<p>     after i slid the door open with my free hand, i took notice in how shikamaru was back from his water break. him and choji were sharing a bag of chips, lightly chatting back and forth. a smile took over my face as i practically skipped to my assigned seat, placing the hitai-ate on the table. "guess who passed!" </p>
<p>     "yay! i'm so--" choji began to speak, but was once again interrupted by iruka-sensei.</p>
<p>     "akimichi choji!" </p>
<p>     "dang... i guess i'll be back, watch my chips! you guys can have some... but not all of them, alright?!" the boy stammered as he practically fell out of his chair and made his way to the exam room. </p>
<p>     shikamaru and i gave each other a glance, then wished choji good luck. "sorry i didn't get to wish you good luck either, but i guess you didn't even need it." the boy in front of me chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. "i'm really proud of you, though." </p>
<p>     "thank you. i know you'll pass too, i'm sure of it." with a smile, i slid the hitai-ate towards him. "could you help me put it on?" </p>
<p>     "of course." </p>
<p>     he got up and sat in choji's empty seat with my hitai-ate in hand. "turn around."</p>
<p>     with a small nod, i turned my back to him. shikamaru delicately pulled my hair back and wrapped the fabric around my head. after tying the ends together, he let my hair down. </p>
<p>     once he was back in his assigned seat, i whipped my head towards him so he could see the fruit of his effort. "how does it look?" i asked with a smile on my face.</p>
<p>     "like a real kunoichi, tai."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ascend, descend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>a fulfilled feeling washed over me as i felt the familiar air from my home brush past the hitai-ate that now resided on my forehead. "mom, i'm home!" i call out as i take off my sandals, putting them beside my mother's own pair. </p><p>"hello, taiyou!" my mother exclaimed to me as she sat up on the couch in our living room, placing a book she held on her lap. with a wave, she gave me a wide-eyed smile. "i'm proud of you for passing... i knew you could do it!" </p><p>the muscles in my face pulled a smile onto my face as i rushed to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. "thanks! do you know where shinzo went?" i asked. "i was gonna see if he wanted to do any training with me, since i'm an official ninja and all!"</p><p>"he actually had to depart on his mission a bit earlier than planned. lord hokage wanted to make sure his squad had enough time to prepare for ambushes, shinzo said." my mother stated to me with her right index finger raised. "but i do remember when your brother was younger, he would go to the library and borrow books about jutsus. they basically have step-by-step instructions on how to learn jutsus on your own. it may take a bit longer, but if you're anything like shinzo -- it'll eventually come naturally!"</p><p>"oh, really?" i huffed after swallowing a mouthful of apple. "i don't get why he can't teach me himself these jutsus like he said he would."</p><p>"taiyou," the woman sighed as she placed her bookmark within her story, "you need to understand that he doesn't have as much time as you think he does. there's a lot that he has to do for our village, just like you will one day."</p><p>a figure short of a frown painted my face as i quickly made my way to my room with snack in hand. as i continued to take bite of bite from my apple, i filled a backpack with supplies that i would need to train on my own. shuriken, kunai, a water canteen, granola bars... things i would need before i had to go home for the night. letting out a heavy breath, i shrugged the backpack upon my shoulders and traveled out to find a training ground. </p><p>-----</p><p>once i reached the training ground nearest to my home, i laid my backpack against a tree and began to stretch. 'i know i can't be mad at shinzo for not being able to train with me... i can't change what lord hokage says for my selfish wants. but it just, stings. i'd ask dad but... every-time i train with him, everything feels wrong. like i... like i can't do anything right. shinzo takes his time with me, but how long am i going to stay failing everyone? i don't want to be more trouble than what i'm worth.' </p><p>before my thoughts could truly invade my mind, i shook my head and slapped my cheeks. "i cant mope around like this. if i'm really going to prove myself, i have to train and get better!"</p><p>'so what should i do to get better?' this idea popped into my head as i squatted to the ground and began to draw in the dirt with my kunai. 'i could try a clone jutsu to work on my defense... i'll have to fight carefully though to not mess up any of the clones. if they disperse, i'll just keep wasting chakra on building them back up.'</p><p>with a smirk, i performed the hand signs needed to create a few clones. four perfect images of me surrounded my sight, all with the same smirk as i. in order to differentiate me from the rest, i tied my hitai-ate on my waist. "you guys don't have to be afraid to charge at me. you and i both know that we all want to become stronger." i chided.</p><p>"you're pretty cocky, taiyou. but then again, maybe i am too since we're one in the same." the second clone chuckled before it charged towards me, kunai in hand.</p><p>my eyebrow raised from determination as i slid a kunai out of my weapon pouch. "i guess, but you seem a bit too headstrong to fully be me."</p><p>"eat your words!" the second clone boomed right before they slashed at me. </p><p>i ducked below their swing, countering the attack by pushing my foot upwards to knock them back. "oh yeah? eat my foot!"</p><p>a cloud of smoke enveloped the space where the clone was, then faded away. as i stood back on the ground properly once more, a sigh fell from my mouth. 'darn, it's a bit hard to defend myself without fighting back... and if i keep making clones at this rate -- i'll pass out on the training grounds!'</p><p>"you've gone quiet." the left-most clone stated, breaking me out of my trance.</p><p>"huh?" turning my head towards them, i waved my hand back and forth. "oh, just trying to change some training plans. i don't think this will be... beneficial for me, y'know?"</p><p>"hm. why don't you fight the other two clones, and once you've defeated them -- we can train one on one. you don't have to work on defenses with fighting, maybe work on your chakra control and concealing it from me."</p><p>my right eyebrow raised as the clone actually came up with a better plan than me. "how did you come up with that?" i asked, turning back towards the other two pictures of me.</p><p>"it was simple. i could tell that the first clone would lose quickly, and if you kept wasting chakra like that... you wouldn't get no where. you'd just tire yourself out. plus, i thought turning a game of hide and seek into a training tactic would be fun."</p><p>"that's... pretty smart. thanks, taiyou."</p><p>"it's what we do."</p><p>letting out a deep breath, i allowed the corners of my mouth to lift upwards. "alright, you two. whenever you're ready... come at me."</p><p>the two remaining clones that i'd be fighting with exchanged a glance before they sprinted towards me. my eyes scanned an opening between them, to which i rolled between. pushing my right foot away from my body, i kicked the clone to my right away -- diminishing it into mere smoke. after gaining back the stability on my feet, i formed my body into a decent battle stance. "so it's just you and i now, huh." the image of me that stood straight ahead stated.</p><p>"i guess you could think of it like that." </p><p>with a sigh, the clone waved their hand back and forth. "yeah, yeah... you know what i mean -- so let's just get this over with."</p><p>the second words seized to pour out of their mouth, the image of me began to attack. we fought one-on-one with kunai for a little while, until the battle came to a close with one slight swipe from my blade. </p><p>since i didn't have to worry about the three clones attacking me anymore, i was finally able to catch a breath. "whenever you're ready, we can begin. however long you'd like to train, we can. after all, i'm basically just an image of you." the last duplicate of me spoke.</p><p>"fine. give me a minute to hide. we'll use the surrounding 300 square meters, alright?"</p><p>"sounds like a plan to me, taiyou." the clone said before bowing their head and closing their eyes.</p><p>a slight smile formed on my face as i ran off into the forest, preparing for an hour of concealing my chakra from 'myself' over and over again.</p><p>once i was finally satisfied with the work i had done for the day, i dismissed the final clone and picked up my backpack. it was quite a bit lighter than before, as i ate my snacks during short breaks here and there. </p><p>the sun began to set as i walked through the village on my way back home. the way my house sat was covered by a decently small forest, where other members of the akarui clan resided. but for some reason, lord hokage was strolling out of common akarui land. "taiyou," his voice called out to me, "you should hurry home. it's... getting late."</p><p>he didn't stop to keep a conversation with me, but continued to walk away. turning my head to the side, i shrugged my shoulders and resumed my walk home. thoughts began to swirl in my mind, wondering why he was here in the first place. did something happen while i was away? it couldn't have been that bad, or else he would have talked to me more about it. right?</p><p>my footsteps on the ground echoed in my head as they became faster. eventually, i was running through the door -- not bothering to take off my shoes. "mom?" i called out into the cold air of my home.</p><p>the distant sound of sobbing filled my ears as my eyes widened. "mom?" i belted as i ran forward throughout the house. </p><p>my body froze once i reached my mother's room. her figure sat on the ground with her forehead on the floor. the sobbing only got louder each moment i looked at the scene. "taiyou," she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes, "your father..."</p><p>"they found his body near the village gates. he was... on a mission taking another's place for a little while so they could rest. spying on a gang or something like that. lord hokage said he couldn't tell me much, other than the fact that he was murdered. impaled through the heart, he said." my mother choked on her words every once in awhile, but did her best to explain in between sobs. </p><p>though i wasn't particularly close with my father, the idea of him being disgraced like that stung. i never thought he'd leave that soon... that quickly. </p><p>my eyes widened as tears threatened to spill down my skin. "mother, i'm sorry." </p><p>i didn't really know why an apology fell from my mouth so easily. though i did nothing wrong, i couldn't think of anything else except for that single word -- sorry. </p><p>my mother pulled herself back to the floor, sobbing. if her tears continued to fall the way they were, she'd dampen the carpet. </p><p>a numbing feeling made its way through my hands as i fell backwards onto the wall behind me. shaking my head, i steadied myself and bit my nails. 'no, no... this is all wrong.'</p><p>'what'll my mother do? what'll i do? this is going to change things, isn't it? how do i fix it?'</p><p>questions swirled continuously in my brain as i began to stumble into my home's garden. 'you're going to let her down, taiyou.'</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hiya! thank you for reading this chapter! i hope you liked it, and i'll try to update fairly regularly. i hope everyone had a good day/night -- and i'll see you in the next one! ~ &lt;3</p><p>- icilea</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a melody hidden in the storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>taiyou meets her new sensei and begins to receive a source of guidance that she may need more than anything.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>his half-disguised expression seemed too awake, but desperately tired all in the same. with a chalkboard eraser laying on his highly spiked up hair and white residue from the chalk being powdered on his mask covered face, the man that had just became my sensei lowered the book he was reading. 'icha icha paradise...?' i thought to myself as i viewed the cover. </p><p>a gloved palm picked up the eraser and placed it in it's original spot. it was off-putting, because though the object just fell on his head -- no words of reprimand were said towards us. </p><p>after a few moments passed, our new sensei turned back towards my assigned team -- haruno sakura, uchiha sasuke, uzumaki naruto, and i.</p><p>"my first impression of you guys," he sighed, "is that you're all idiots."</p><p>naruto's face dropped as he began to sulk on the floor. a gasp pushed out of sakura's mouth, and sasuke just seemed disinterested. my eyes widened as my head just bowed towards the ground. 'it's not like all of us put the eraser up there...' i whined in my head.</p><p>"meet me on the roof in five minutes." the ninja said before dispersing into thin air. </p><p>"naruto, you idiot! you just made us look like fools!" sakura scolded naruto as she hit him over the head.</p><p>a whine released from the blond haired boy. "sakura-chan, i'm sorry!"</p><p>"you better be sorry! now we've gotta look extra good for our new sensei...." </p><p>the pinkette let a heavy sigh fall from her mouth as she stomped out of the room. without a word, sasuke stood and left the room as well -- leaving me and naruto. "i'm sorry, taiyou-chan." naruto apologized to me with a sincere and innocent gleam in his eyes.</p><p>"you're alright, naruto. besides... it was a little bit funny." in attempts to cheer the boy up, i tried to lift the corners of my mouth into a smile. </p><p>"really?"</p><p>i nodded my head and began to walk out of the room. "really, really. we should get to the roof though -- don't want to make our new sensei actually have an even better reason to get angry with us."</p><p>naruto's eyes opened wide right before he darted out of the room. "i'll race ya there!" he exclaimed back to me. </p><p>"i don't know if i really want to race..." i admitted with a heavy breath. "but then again, we do have a bit of stairs to climb up... so i guess i could save some already wasted time."</p><p>at my quickest pace, i sprinted towards the roof in attempts to win naruto in a not so fair race -- but as expected, the blond boy beat me by a large distance. sasuke and sakura were already sitting in front of our new sensei, leaving open enough space for naruto and i on the stairs they rested on. i sat between sakura and sasuke while naruto took the seat on the end, directly next to sakura. </p><p>the silver haired man closed his book and tucked it away. "alright, why don't you each introduce yourselves... one at a time."</p><p>"introduce ourselves?" sakura asked with her head tilted to the side. "what're we supposed to say?" </p><p>the man shrugged his shoulders. "things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies -- stuff like that."</p><p>"why don't you start so we know what to do and how it's supposed to work?" naruto requested as he scratched at his hair.</p><p>"hmm. well, my name is hatake kakashi. things i like and things i hate... i don't feel like telling you that. my dreams for the future, i never really thought about it. my hobbies? ...i have lots of hobbies." </p><p>"that was totally useless! all you really told us was your name..." the pinkette huffed, crossing her arms. </p><p>"okay, your turn. you on the right, start." he pointed to naruto.</p><p>"alright... dattebayo! i'm uzumaki naruto! i like instant ramen in a cup, and i really like the ramen iruka-sensei got me at the ichiraku noodle shop! but i really hate the three minutes you have to wait after you pour the water in the ramen cup. my hobby is eating different ramen and comparing them! my future dream is to become hokage! then the whole village will stop disrespecting me and treat me like i'm somebody -- somebody special!" he gave a wide teethed smile and it couldn't help but to put a slight reflection on mine as well.</p><p>"next?"</p><p>"i'm haruno sakura! what i like, uh, i mean... the person i like is..." the girl to my right giggled and leaned forwards to view sasuke.</p><p>the raven stared off into the distance, as if he didn't even notice her. 'yikes...' i thought to myself as i rubbed the back of my neck.</p><p>"my hobby is..." the girl looked at her beau once more before turning as red as a tomato. "my dream for the future is-" </p><p>suddenly, she squealed and buried her blushed face into her palms.</p><p>"...and what do you hate?" kakashi-sensei asked the flushed girl.</p><p>as soon as the question was released into the air, all of the warm tones on sakura's face disappeared. with her fists clenched, a yell rang into the air. "naruto!"</p><p>naruto's hands reached for his hair as he sulked out, "no!"</p><p>my sensei's right index finger pointed in my direction. "alright, your turn."  </p><p>"i'm akarui taiyou." scratching the back of my neck, i tried to think of some things to talk about for myself. "i like dango, cloud-watching, and listening to music. i hate having to talk to new people because it's always so... awkward, and i tend to ramble on. dreams for the future? i guess to become better, y'know? i don't really know what my dream is so i guess i could say my dream is to find a dream. i know i said i like this, but could a hobby be cloud-watching?"</p><p>"hmm," the silver-haired jonin hummed to himself, "i guess that could be a hobby, yeah."</p><p>i gave him a silent nod in response, but my mind was swirling with thoughts. 'why do you sound so uninterested? maybe i should have livened things up a bit more...'</p><p>kakashi-sensei turned his gaze towards sasuke and stated, "alright... you're last."</p><p>"my name... is uchiha sasuke. i hate a lot of things, and i don't particularly like anything." sakuras face went blank right before her head fell in heartache. "what i have is not a dream, because i will make it a reality. i'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain someone." the area seemed to go in a grey-scale as the air felt like stilled.</p><p>'that's really grim...' my mind echoed from the surrounding silence, causing my palms to become moist.</p><p>with the same uninterested look that he managed to keep throughout this whole introductory meeting, kakashi-sensei nodded to all four of us. "good. you're each unique and you all have your own set of ideas. we'll have our first mission tomorrow at nine am." he pushed off of the ledge that he was leaning on and began to walk away. </p><p>after a few moments, he stopped and turned around towards us. "oh... don't eat breakfast tomorrow. you'll throw up."</p><p>-----</p><p>"mom?" i called out as i slid off my ninja sandals. </p><p>my mother's face peeped out of her room, her mid-length brown hair flowing in the light breeze that blew throughout the house. she stared at me with bright yellow eyes until she fully stepped out into the hallway. "taiyou! i'm glad you came home when you did -- come, come!"</p><p>i raised my right eyebrow and made my way into her room. there were piles of items laid throughout her room. on the bed, dressers, floor... as if she were looking through my father's belongings. was she trying to soothe the pain? </p><p>"i found this a little while ago." my mother stated as she sat down in an open spot on the bed, placing a weapons case onto her lap. "it belonged to me when i was an active ninja, but now that i'm retired... i don't use it anymore. your father gave something like this to shinzo. because of that, he doesn't have any real need for mine... so i thought i'd give it to you."</p><p>she placed the case on my lap. my vision slightly became wider as i opened the clasp and took a look at what was inside. two simple black and cream coloured katanas laid in a near-perfect condition, begging to be examined. </p><p>with delicate hands, i grasped the topmost katana and unsheathed it. on the handle, there were golden and cream flowers carefully painted on with a deep green vine that twirled around til it reached the blade. as i inspected the beautiful image, my mother placed a hand on my shoulder. "do you like it?"</p><p>i didn't even notice that my mouth was slightly ajar until i began to speak. "yeah... i like it. i... love it, really. thank you, mom."</p><p>tears began to fill my eyes. instead of trying to hide the whole image, i bowed my head and let the tears fall to my blade. </p><p>"taiyou?" my mother soothingly called out to me as she stroked my hair. "i love you, so much. things will be hard with his... loss... but i want you to know that rainbows can only come after storms. everything will be alright... okay? i'll always be here to show you where the rainbow is if you can't see it."</p><p>for the first time since learning about my father's death... my mind felt clear. i felt hopeful. tears began to flow down my face as i enveloped the woman beside me into a hug. "thank you, thank you, thank you. i love you too, mom. why did he have to leave? i still had so much to show him, y'know?" i sulked into her grey kimono, staining a pink flower on the fabric beneath my eyes. </p><p>"death is an odd idea, love. once you think you've grasped it, the whole perspective you thought you had flips into a different reflection. all i can say is that this will take time in order to heal."</p><p>"i guess." with a sniffle, i wiped my eyes and sat back up. "mom?"</p><p>"yes?"</p><p>"would you... help me train? it's a bit hard to do on my own, y'know?"</p><p>a smile painted my mothers face as she grasped my face with her two hands. her bright yellow eyes looked into mine before they squinted closed. "of course. it's about time that you've reached out to me."</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. tears and fears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"you've trained a bit before with shinzo for your seishingan, right?" my mother asked me as we stood in front of each other within my home's garden.</p><p>"yeah... but i've never really that good at controlling it." i sighed, looking down at the ground.</p><p>the sound of footsteps neared me until i saw my mother kneel before me. she cupped her two hands over my cheeks and looked into my eyes with her own seishingan. two fully lilac iris' with the pupil seemingly forgotten bared into my sight, golden flecks hidden within the cool tones making me remember that my thoughts weren't my own anymore. "you're stressing too much about the idea of controlling your power when really, you should be focusing on harmonizing with it."</p><p>"what do you mean by that?" </p><p>my mother kept her gaze directly centered on my eyes. "taiyou, this needs to come naturally. you can't force it. only by becoming more acquainted with your eyes, will you be able to achieve new powers within your own current one. do you understand me better?" she simply explained the best way to go about current training with the calmest tone possible, making my mind less tense.</p><p>giving her a small nod, i closed my eyes and took a step back. the woman in front of me stood up again and released her seishingan. "i want you to read my chakra's aura and tell me what i'm thinking of."</p><p>with another slight movement of my head, i closed my eyes and focused chakra into my eyes and mind. 'seishingan!' </p><p>the same purple and golden sprinkled image that resided in my mother's eyes just a few moments ago formed in my own. i gazed forward, taking note of the aura that laid ahead. "your aura is green right now." i stated, looking deeper than before. "i'm getting a sense of inner change."</p><p>'could it be because of father's death?' closing my eyes, i looked slightly to the ground with a sigh.</p><p>"good work, taiyou. but that's in a way... the bare minimum of what you can do with your seishingan. there's so much more involved like jutsus, techniques to use, and increasing the range that you must stick to. when i was younger and learning how to use it to the full extent, i started off with increasing the rage and getting more comfortable with the idea in itself. but as time moved on, i began to learn the jutsus and move to even greater heights with the seishingan. just remember that... it takes time." my mother elaborated our clan's doujutsu even deeper so i could understand it best, giving me a lightened feeling in my heart.</p><p>tears began to well in my eyes but i pushed the feeling away and hugged my mother around her waist. "thank you."</p><p>"for what, dear?" she giggled and stroked my head.</p><p>rubbing my cheek into the soft fabric of her kimono, i smiled. "for actually being willing to help me."</p><p>"i always was, taiyou -- i just wanted to wait until you decided that you needed me."</p><p>-----</p><p>"if you're not prepared to kill me, you won't be able to take a bell." kakashi-sensei bluntly stated to my team.</p><p>with wide eyes, my sight focused on the three glimmering bells that the silver-haired sensei held onto by red ribbons. 'he wants us to be that violent? what if he gets hurt?'</p><p>sakura flattened her hair down as a nervous expression painted her face. "but sensei, those weapons are too dangerous!" </p><p>"you couldn't even dodge an eraser!" naruto taunted the jonin with his hands care-freely wrapped behind his head. "what makes you think you could dodge weapons?" </p><p>"class clowns are usually the weakest links. you can safely ignore them, and they wouldn't be able to touch you." kakashi-sensei harshly rebuked.</p><p>my eyebrows furrowed, causing an uncomfortable look to find my face. 'why did he have to say it like that...?'</p><p>"when i say start, you can begin."</p><p>the blonde growled and pulled a kunai knife from his weapons pouch. "i'll show you!" </p><p>he ran towards our new sensei and slashed forwards, only to be met with the reflection of his face in the kunai. sasuke, sakura, and i looked at the position naruto was in, eyes widening at the sight. "don't be in such a hurry, i didn't say start yet." kakashi warned with a sigh.</p><p>the boy struggled to get out of the tight grip he was placed under, grunting as his body tried to move. the two beside me began to back up, but i couldn't find the strength to move. 'he was so fast... how was that even possible?'</p><p>he slightly nodded his head to the side, allowing a slight breeze to reach his silver hair. "however, you proceeded with the full intention of destroying me. so... how could i say this... i'm actually starting to like you guys." our new sensei snickered.</p><p>'more like he's starting to like naruto... i didn't even do anything.'</p><p>kakashi-sensei let naruto go, allowing him to back up. after a few moments of silence, he looked around at his surroundings. "get ready.... start!"</p><p>-----</p><p>i made my way through the forest after hearing sakura's loud screech, mind swirling with possible outcomes of this survival exercise. 'was she hurt during a fight with kakashi-sensei? i don't think he would go out of his way to cause any real damage. but then again, we're just genin... we don't even really know real pain yet. it could actually be sakura... or what if it's a trap? is he waiting for me? will i be able to defend myself?'</p><p>the hairs on my back suddenly stood up, causing me to reflectively hide behind the nearest tree. closing my eyes, i cupped my hands around my ears to hear better. </p><p>"can't move huh? that was ninjutsu -- the third shinobi battle skill. you have talent, and you're right. you are... different from the others. but different isn't always better -- they say the nail that sticks up is the one that gets hammered down first." kakashi-sensei's voice spoke from behind the tree.</p><p>stilling my breath, i sunk down to increase my coverage. </p><p>"don't think that i can't sense your presence."</p><p>as soon as the jonin's voice reached my ears, the tempo of my heart immediately sped up. 'he noticed me. oh no, no, no... he noticed me.'</p><p>my hands began to sweat as footsteps neared me. 'what do i do? if this was an actual battle, i'd be dead -- dead! i won't last as a kunoichi...!'</p><p>a sudden jolt of confidence ran through my body, allowing me to slip out from behind the tree with my hands behind my back. "haha... you've got me, kakashi-sensei!" i stammered before gulping down a dry patch in my throat.</p><p>after finally being able to see the aftermath of the fight that rang in my ears, i could see that sasuke's head was popping out from underneath the ground with a nasty look painted upon his face. 'if i can get him out of the ground, we might have a chance to get the bells -- because i sure don't have any on my own.'</p><p>"i'll let you make the first move, taiyou -- since you seem to already be cooking something up in that head of yours." the silver-haired man standing before me took out a book and pulled it open. "besides, i'm interesting in seeing how you approach a fight."</p><p>'if i can blur his sight with a jutsu, i could get sasuke out of the ground. then once he's out... we can attack.' with my hands still behind my back and a plan in my brain, i slowly began to form hand signs. 'hazy genjutsu!'</p><p>kakashi-sensei closed his book and put it away. "seems like i won't be able to read anymore." he sighed, pulling a kunai knife out of his weapons pouch. </p><p>my eyes widened as he got into a defensive stance. 'he's really going to fight me with blurred vision? nonetheless, with one eye only?'</p><p>i pulled a kunai knife out of my own pouch and ran towards sasuke. the jonin immediately went into the same direction as i, giving me no other choice but to jump back and activate my seishingan. staring towards my sensei's aura, i was able to understand his thoughts and intentions. 'he knew my plan all along?! what can i do now? he's able to fight back while under my genjutsu... why can he counter so much? is this a hopeless battle?'</p><p>while my mind swirled with questions, i was suddenly pulled under the ground with my chin touching the dirt -- just as sasuke was. in defeat, i released the genjutsu and closed my eyes. </p><p>kakashi-sensei's light footsteps approached my spot within the ground. he squatted down and sighed. "worry about countering your opponent, instead of fighting with your own ideas. any tactic is better than none." his nonchalant voice commented on my fighting ways, making me feel deeper in the ground than i was before. </p><p>"i understand." was all i could say as i ducked my head. </p><p>with my eyes still closed, the irritated sigh from the boy occupying the same ground as i seemed to echo in my ears. </p><p>-----</p><p>"sasuke's just a head without a body!" a girlish shriek rang through the air as sakura shook her head and fell to her knees. </p><p>letting my chin rest on the dirt, i sighed. "i'm here too, y'know..."</p><p>sakura jumped back to a standing position and grinned. "i'll get you out of there, sasuke-kun!"</p><p>"do you just not see me or something?" i grumbled, lifting my head up. "or are you just being difficult like always?"</p><p>a scowl formed on the pinkette's lips as she placed her hands on sasuke's head to pull him out of the ground. "why can't you shut your mouth? i'm trying to focus here!" she barked at me. </p><p>"what're you doing?" the raven-haired boy growled as he shook his head, trying to get the girl's dainty hands off.</p><p>"this is the only way i'm gonna be able to get you out!" she whined, pulling lightly on his head.</p><p>after a few minutes of hearing sakura struggle, he finally popped out of the ground. the two of them began to stretch in their own ways in order to feel a bit more comfortable from the strain. "could one of you guys get me out now?" i asked with an irritable tone laced into my words. </p><p>"can't," sasuke stated as he walked towards some bushes, "i have to get a bell. with you out of the way, it'll just be easier. besides, it's not like i asked to be pulled out of the ground."</p><p>the boy walked away, leaving sakura with me. she looked down at the ground and moved her body as if there were bugs crawling along her skin. i took a long breath out and closed my eyes as she turned away towards the bushes sasuke walked into. "sakura, you're not gonna just... leave me here... right?" i asked, unsure if the question would instantly make her dart towards the uchiha's direction.</p><p>sakura turned back towards me and whined. "fine!" she squatted down behind me and placed her hands on my head. "it's not like i can leave you here in the middle of the woods. i mean -- what if you die or something? i mean, it would be my fault -- because i didn't do anything!"</p><p>the pinkette seemed to pull me out with much more force than she used on sasuke, but it didn't matter much to me once i had my two feet on the ground again. after stretching my back for a few moments, i sat down on the ground from tiredness. 'who knew being stuck in such a cramped space could strain me so much?'</p><p>once a few calming moments passed, i brushed the dirt off of my clothes and stood back up. "thanks, sakura."</p><p>"yeah, yeah." she grimaced as her pale hand waved back and forth in front of her face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hiya! if you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading this chapter of sun. this story was originally something i began about two years ago during a really rock bottom part of my life, but i'm kind of getting back into writing again -- as it's also a comforting source for me now, that i've noticed as of recently.</p>
<p>the original story was posted on wattpad in 2019, but the writing on it is absolutely terrible -- so i've decided to just write the whole thing in a more mature manner. i've put a lot of thought and effort into this story, and i'm really excited to begin to work on it again. </p>
<p>as i've already said before in this end-note, thank you for reading... and i hope to see you in the next chapter. :) </p>
<p>- icilea</p></blockquote></div></div>
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